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| May 31, 2005
Jermajesty's Secret Service
It seems I'm not alone in appreciating the special powers of portable music devices. Jermajesty, my psychic iPod, isn't only sending me secret messages about fireflies (which I later understood to be a reference to its former owner!!), it also can make things happen. For example, the other day I was walking home and listening to "If I Can't Change Your Mind" by Sugar. The song ends, and on the next block I see Bob. I've been listening to lots of Scissor Sisters in my bed. I'll keep you posted. On a completely unrelated note, I don't know if there's anything as wonderful as the guilty pleasure that is the Kids Bop video for "Since U Been Gone." For the past few weeks, it's been my go-to source for giggles. May 26, 2005
DC Style, and Other Oxymorons
I've been seeing these ads in Metro stations and on buses for a new magazine called DC Style. At first I thought this must be a joke or, at the very least, a drug money laundering operation. Apparently it's real. And according to fishbowlDC, I'm one of the target demos (25- to 45-year-olds city-based professionals). Hot! As a discerning consumer and longtime Washingtonian, here are some stories I expect to see in upcoming issues: Staff ID Badge Holders: Soft or Hard Plastic? Daring Fall Fashions: The Blue Gap Dress is Back and We've Got It Covered! Lofty Ideas: Which Window Treatments Will Soundproof Your Luxury Condo from Gunshots and Street People? Grooming Lounge Lizards: Full-Body Waxing with Henry Waxman Real Estate Steals: Living in Potomac on a Bethesda Budget It's Gotta Be the Shoes: How to Tell if Your Date's a K Street King or a Non-Profit No-No The Death of Geek Chic: Adam Eidinger and the End of Adorkable Tucker, Tony, and the "other" Paul Simon: The Bow Ties that Bind The "Barney's on Connecticut" and Other Style Myths of The West Wing Jimmy Choo vs. Manolo Blahnik: The CapHill Evac Challenge May 25, 2005
It Ain't Easy Being Green
The other night as I went through my mail, I noticed some junk from Discover. Usually I shred these credit card apps without even opening them. This envelope, though, was a bit thicker than my shredder can handle, so I tore it open. This slip falls into my lap.  Now, I'm not on any "Irish" mailing lists that I'm aware of. I don't belong to the AoH. I don't subscribe to Irish America magazine. So I was left wondering why they thought this would be of interest to me. Then it hit me. My last name. I can only assume that Discover trolled mailing lists for Mc-s and O's. The sad thing is how many nibbles they'll get from this. While I'm proud of my heritage, I sometimes get a little perturbed by the way that many Irish Americans chose to show their pride. It just comes off tacky to me sometimes, as I've suggested previously. But maybe that's just me being lace curtain. May 24, 2005
True Confession
While watching the finale of Desperate Housewives the other night, I realized that Dana is a boy's name too. Of course, this probably occurred to most viewers a few weeks ago when Harriet Sansom Harris told Zach that his original name was Dana. I'd spent the last part of the season thinking that Zach was some sort of hermaphrodite/transexual who was being raised as a girl by his birth mother but as a boy by Mary Alice/Angela. How Terri Hatcher of me. May 23, 2005
Well, Not Counting You, Kay Bailey Hutchison
I noticed that of the 14 Senators who were wise enough to come to some form of compromise to avoid the nuclear option, a dispraportionate number of them were women. I firmly believe that if more women were in the House, the Senate, and the White House, that our government would not only be more representative of its people but would get more of the stuff that really matters done. But I grew up in a family full of women who got things done so maybe that's just me. Here's to the ladies who legislate.
Who Can Afford to Be an Anarchist?
Sometimes I like street art. This morning, after a lovely weekend relaxing with friends was abruptly ended by the alarm, I could easily relate to the message of this one, for instance:  When Glenn and I went for a stroll this weekend, we noticed lots of "Resist Gentrification" sprayed on the sidewalks around new construction projects. DCist noted this at Wonderland a while back. It struck a chord with me. I admit my part in changing the face of the neighborhood. It's an awkward feeling. I chuckle when I see graffiti that screams "Go Back to Fairfax!" I've never lived in Fairfax (thankfully). When I was a child and PG County shifted to being a majority black area--when many other families followed the white flight to Montgomery or Anne Arundel or Howard counties, we stayed in my hometown. No, I don't think that was based on some moral stand against racism--it just was the way things happened. It's interesting when a neighborhood changes. Even though I wasn't as aware of it then as I am now, I remember the tension and soft, (mostly) unspoken prejudices that were in the air. I suppose gentrification and white flight are related. I'm not exactly sure how, but I'd venture to say the poor end up getting screwed by both. It's really easy to paint me as another college-educated white boy who stands to make a killing on a real estate investment. But that "investment" is my home, the one where I'm trying to build a life with my partner--apparently along sidewalks spray-painted with "resist gentrification," anarchy symbols, and "rob yuppies." Part of me wonders who's behind this tagging. Is it really the people who are being negatively impacted by gentrification? Is it another group, trying to speak out for people they fear have no voice? Or is it a group that has an agenda and uses the specter of gentrification as an excuse for mindless destruction rather than coming up with constructive solutions? Whatever the case, it's all much more complicated than a slogan on a sidewalk. Reducing people and situations to such narrow descriptions does nothing to move anyone forward. May 19, 2005
In the Navy
 Today in Annapolis, it was Herndon time. I had to work, but fortunately Glenn took the camera.
My iPod Is Talking to Me
Just now as I was walking back from a delightful lunch, I was listening to my iPod so as not to have to actually interact with the world around me. My iPod, whose name is Jermajesty, was on shuffle. It played "100,000 Fireflies" by The Magnetic Fields (the second best modern rock song of the decade 1994-2004, for what it's worth). Then it played "100,000 Fireflies" by Superchunk. What are the odds? I know that more mathematically inclined people would say the chances of it playing a cover of "100,000 Fireflies" after just playing "100,000 Fireflies" are no greater or lesser than the chances of it playing any of the other 2,025 songs on the iPod after "100,000 Fireflies"--except they would use words like "Bernoulli trials" and "N" in their explanation. I still think Jermajesty is talking to me. So, I'm going to buy a lotto ticket with 100,000 on it. If you live in a Powerball state, please don't try and copy me. I don't want to have to share. May 18, 2005
Political Thought of the Day
Since the GOP is behind it, shouldn't it be pronounced "the nucular option"?
I still [heart] express
I've said it before, but it bears repeating: the express headline and caption writers bring more joy to my mornings than coffee does, and that's a lot of joy.  There should be a Pulitzer for snark. May 17, 2005
The Nifty Experiment
This is one of those posts that would be much easier to post if I didn't know that certain (read most) members of my family read this site. Oh well. I only recently heard about the nifty archives, maybe about a year ago. nifty.org has a total of about 82,800 stories. Erotic gay ones. Using the site-specific search feature on google, I've checked out the number of those stories that feature certain words. This isn't scientific, but it is an interesting experiment to show what gay smut readers' interests are.... 57,200: gay 10,700: lesbian 5,860: straight 4,470: football 3,770: wine 3,760: nsync 2,840: baseball 2,730: pot 2,550: basketball 2,270: roommate 2,180: army 2,150: rope 2,100: cigarette 1,980: smoking 1,790: cop 1,620: waiter 1,560: navy 1,410: secretary 1,220: MTV 934: punk 901: jockstrap 870: marine 812: bruise 761: member 731: leather 722: initiation 699: latex 677: beer 637: air force 588: frat 514: fraternity 473: rugby 426: buffy the vampire slayer 371: cigar 339: tom cruise 341: drama club 327: coast guard 227: tommy lee 163: lacrosse 144: prep school 63: jimbo 58: spock 48: darth vader 40: beyonce 37: west wing 20: gas mask 17: george bush 14: coldplay 7: helen keller 4: desperate housewives 1: gyllenhaal 1: lindsay lohan May 16, 2005
Good Taste Runs in the Family
 Although she turned 21 a few weeks ago, running into my niece on the field of the HFStival (apparently double fisting) was the first time I'd seen her drinking (legally) in public. It was kind of funny. Of course, judging from her musical tastes, I'm sure it won't be the last time. The photo credit for the above goes to John, who sums up our excursion fairly well. He did neglect to point out the trashiness of some of the crowd. Not that there's anything wrong with Balmer, hon. I hope to have more photos as soon as I get them developed (Glenn and I went low-tech for this show). You'll just have to wait to see the many, many photos that were taken by Glenn as he said "Stand right there" and proceeded to appear to take a picture of me but actually was using me as a decoy to take pictures of the shirtless guys over my shoulder. Again, not that there's anything wrong with that. May 13, 2005
And My New Grandma Bea Arthur...
A little birdie reminded me that today is a very special day. It's BEA ARTHUR'S BIRTHDAY.  Suggested forms of celebration: - listen to "California" by Rufus Wainwright and belt out the part about her - watch Mame - have a drink at the Rusty Anchor - reminisce about the days before Chris had a blog when he would send out fun emails like "Gay Quote of the Day and Bea Arthur Web site" - track down the Star Wars Life Day Celebration special - sing the Miami song - CHEESECAKE! - call all your friends named Maude! - spay or neuter your pet (oh, wait, that's for Bob Barker's birthday which is December 12). Happy Bea Arthur's Birthday! May 12, 2005
Is There a Doctor in the Ass?
Sometimes Hager would blithely shift from vaginal to anal sex. Davis protested. "He would say, 'Oh, I didn't mean to have anal sex with you; I can't feel the difference,'" Wow. Just wow. May 11, 2005
EAT!
Benverhausen sent me this link entitled Lindsay Shrinks. Defamer shows her and fellow future California governor's wife Nicole Richie getting ready to duke it out over the last drop of Ipecac. Linds, girl, EAT. You look nasty. I really want to support you. I have all of your DVDs. And your CD. I even returned the Hillary Duff CD Glenn got me as a joke for Christmas. You can still smoke and drink and flirt with really old, gross men. (I hear Anthony Michael Hall's not busy). Just eat. Your motto for the summer should be "Put down the straw. Pick up the fork." Trust me, you don't want to end up marrying gay country singers. It's not pretty. May 10, 2005
Fashion Tip: When You Wear All White, Traces of Coke Rubbed On Your Sleeve Don't Show
Jenna Bush was spotted Saturday night at Cafe Saint-Ex in the Logan Circle area of Washington, DC. "She was chain-smoking and dressed all in white," says the source. Confession: That wasn't Jenna. That was my drag persona Phyllis Stein. True Confession: I actually was at Saint-Ex the following night. I thought it reeked a bit of overprivileged youth. Well, a bit more than usual that is. Truer Confession: Logan Circle seems to be stretching very far north. How long until its black hole of caché sucks up the Heights? May 09, 2005
Celebrity Blogging
John Cusack takes a break from avoiding my marriage proposals to blog over at Ariana Huffington's new bag. In the spirit of another celebrity blogger, I'm going to send him a special message now: john u r awesome ur sis 2 loved 16 candles and better off dead now ur blogging how cool!! maybe u'll come to brunch with me glenn won't mind xoxo This all makes me think it's time for E! or TVLand or G4/TechTV to have a show called "Celebrity Blogwatch" where a bunch of talking heads talk about what's going on in the Celebrity Blogosphere. Picture it: CHRISTIAN FINNEGAN: The other day, Moby had this really great meme. It was lots of fun. MICHAEL IAN BLACK: Lisa Whelchel hotsauced her dog! OMAROSA MANIGAULT-STALLWORTH: Christian Finnegan's post about his new handheld was killer. May 08, 2005
Celebrity OnStar
Sometimes I wish there were a resource on the Internets where you could log on and see where a celebrity* is at any given time. That way, during a time like earlier this week at Miami International Airport when I thought I saw William McNamara, I could get online and see if it were really possible that he and I were in Miami simultaneously.  Can Star Magazine get on this soon, Bonnie Fuller? * I know for some it is a wee bit of a stretch to call William McNamara a celebrity, but I celebrate him, so he is. Ever since I watched Doing Time on Maple Drive in my residence hall floor lounge with my then-girlfriend, I've had a soft spot for him. May 05, 2005
Service with a Smirk
I just got back from Florida for work. Stayed at a fancy hotel. Didn't get any sun. Miami seemed nice as I took the cab from the airport to the resort. The resort seemed nice as I walked from my hotel room to the meeting rooms. The spa smelled really nice as I walked through it to get to another part of the hotel. All in all, I think I had about three hours in the five days I was there that weren't taken up by work or sleep. But the hotel was very nice--probably the nicest I've ever stayed in. The level of service was almost embarrassing for a simple person like me. The first night I was there, I joined a group of co-workers and clients in the hotel bar. More people came over and, being the gentleman that I am, I gave up my seat and leaned against the arm of the couch. This hotel won't allow that sort of discomfort for a guest to last very long as within thirty seconds a manager had wheeled over a nice upholstered chair for me. Our conversation and schmoozing continued for a few moments when a tall, blonde (some might say "hot") waiter looked at me and asked, "Wouldn't you be more comfortable in leather, sir?" I was taken aback to say the least. Had my new beard turned me from wholesome to Folsom so quickly? Then I realized he was motioning to a leather chair that he had wheeled over for me. Something in the half-smile on his face, though, said that he knew exactly what he was saying. |
Sister Bernadette's Barking Dog: The Quirky History and Lost Art of Diagramming Sentences - Kitty Burns Florey  Sublimation Point - Jason Schneiderman 
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