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| September 30, 2004
"to teach robust American love..."
You ever feel overwhelmed by life? Right now, I am the conductor of the ADHD orchestra. My baton arm is tired, but the beat goes on... This weekend, I saw A Dirty Shame. I loved it. There's a wonderful DC reference that still has me giggling and calling lots of things "texture." Also, I never thought I'd hear the word "husbear" outside of the datalounge, let alone in a major motion picture. Speaking of bears, there were quite a few at Blowoff on Saturday. And there are photos (some including him, him, half of them, him, him and him). I'm still not sure I understand why there was a shirt exchange. Maybe because I was wearing the shirt of questionable propriety. Last night, at the Sparkology Cinema, we watched a Lindsay Lohan Double Feature. Which is really like a Quadruple Feature if you think about it. My last day at my soon-to-be-old job is October 5. Then Glenn and I board a flight to LA for a mini-vacation. I think this means it's time for a new California mix. Then we get back and I start my new job. Life does move pretty fast. September 27, 2004
September 23, 2004
Take Me Out
With news expected any day on whether or not the Nation's Crapital will once again have a baseball team of its own, we here at Chrisafer Industries want to focus on the really important issues. No, not whether DC schools will suffer or what neighborhood the new ballpark should disrupt. The really important question (for the fashion forward, at least) is what will the mascot be? Here are some early contenders: 
The Washington Blue Sox I believe there are already Red Sox and White Sox, why not complete the set? Besides, the Washington area is full of men who wear their navy dress socks with shorts. It's a look that's as fun and fashionable as their wives in pantyhose and Payless sneakers on the Metro. 
The DC Crack Pipes Following the lead of the Baltimore Orioles and the Florida Marlins, the District's team should have a name that represents something found in the city's natural landscape. And with Marion Barry back in DC politics, crack is hot! White hot! 
The Washington Interns Around here, "The Boys of Summer" tend to reek of cheap cologne covering the stench of even cheaper beer. Why not name the team after them? Just think of the potential for promotional items: movies, berets, and laminated ID cards. 
The Washington Filibusters Summers in Swamp City are hot, but nothing compares to the hot air of the US Government. We should commemorate democracy's special little roadblock, the filibuster. Did you know that "Senator Strom Thurmond set a record in 1957 by filibustering the Civil Rights Act of 1957 for 24 hours and 18 minutes." That sounds just as exciting as the seventh inning stretch to me! 
The Washington Napoleons Did you know the average male height in Washington, D.C. is 4'2"? It's true. Not everyone can be captain of the basketball team. Someone's gotta run the student council. And, in the end, they all come here. What's your favorite? September 21, 2004
Inside Chrisafer's Head
Holy shit, it's the 21st of September! It's way fall. I don't have any cool new sweaters. People who make me be the bad guy are really the bad guy. I got a new job! My head hurts from thinking about things too much. Jealousy is very unattractive, especially when it's unwarranted. Remember when I thought that floor project would only take a few days? Good times. Good, foolish times. My friends are very important to me, but I haven't been a very good friend to all of them lately. She should eat a sandwich. Despite myself, I want a pair of brown corduroys. So many good shows. So little time. Notorious Trick makes sad Chris happy. I'm hoping to create a new day between Saturday and Sunday called Sleepinsomemoreday. I got a new job! When my stepmother handed me the Autobiography as Haiku clipping and said I should submit something since "you're always writing shit," was that her way of saying she reads this site? Writing poetry is fun again. I am? It bothers me how much I want the God Squad to eat it tonight on The Amazing Race. I got a new job! September 20, 2004
Miss Me?
I guess the company I use to host was down all day because of some crazy Baltimore fire. Maybe a C.H.U.D. fell asleep while smoking? Speaking of Balmer and hot, you know what opens this week, don't you? I'm practicing talking like Glenn to prepare. September 16, 2004
PG County Represent
"It's even less often that 19-year-old, bisexual, aspiring pharmacist Bowieites pose nude in national magazines." Oh you'd be surprised.
Five Years? I Don't Know Where I'll Be in Five Months
Interviews and more interviews. I'm discovering I'm rather good at this. I've forgotten that when I'm just a tad nervous, my charm kicks in. One of my former career counselor coworkers, who was a whiz at MBTI, told me this is because, as an INFP, I extrovert my intuition, which often comes across as wit. I prefer to just think of myself as charming, but whatever. I'm learning a lot about myself in this process. I used to think money don't matter. There's still a big idealist in me, but, when you have children, your priorities change. After the birth of my first child, Sallie Mae, I slowly started to realize this, but it was easy to manage with just the one. Once little Wells Fargo came around last December, I knew I couldn't take care of both of them and me without making a little more. For my own sanity and travel budget, I knew I needed to make a change. Speaking of travel, when I leave my current job, I'll get paid out for all of the annual leave I haven't taken over the last five years. All 440 hours of it. That's eleven weeks "extra" salary. I think this means a vacation is in order. September 15, 2004
Let the Music Play
Former MTV VJ Adam Curry does something fancy with RSS called ipodder. Its a shame that in they're description of the project, their using the wrong "it's." And what has Martha Quinn done for us lately? September 14, 2004
More Sidebar than the OJ Trial
I've added some things to the sidebar to the right. There are some more blogs, including a new one from Michael Broder, the husband of my good friend Jason. Michael is a poet and scholar and brilliant conversationalist. I'm looking forward to some very thoughtful stuff from him. Jason's first book of poetry is coming out soon. He's got a blurb from Wayne Koestenbaum. That makes me happy. I have friends with blurbs. Also, I've added some MP3 blogs because I like to live dangerously in the shadow of the RIAA. If you know of other good ones, please let me know. And finally, I've decided to totally rip off other bloggers who track their favorite searches. Mainly because I got one today that made me wish I were in first place rather than lowly ninth: laura bush go-go girl marijuana. Talk about mental images.
Free For All
My buddy DJ Milk just told me that the Polyphonic Spree are playing a free outdoor show at the Kennedy Center on Friday, October 1. Also, you should check out Milk's peppermint tomorrow night at Cafe Saint-Ex. It does seem like there's a lot more interesting stuff going on in DC lately, doesn't it? September 13, 2004
Adams Morgan Day Picture Fun
Sunday was Adams Morgan Day (don't feel bad if you didn't buy me an Adams Morgan card, since I technically live in Columbia Heights now). I took pictures. It was fun. I ran into someone who took a very similar picture to one of the ones below.   
   This isn't from Adams Morgan Day, but it is one of my favorite places in the neighborhood featuring SuperKyle: 
Yes, I've Got That Revlon Contract
You know how animals sense storms and earthquakes way before people? Do you think anyone would notice if I snuck a kitten--say the smaller one--in my bag with me for my second interview today? September 09, 2004
How to Become UnSexy
Oh, Michael Phelps. First this. Then today a very sad report. So very, very sad. Who knew he had an obnoxious, overprivileged, chubby drunk girl fetish? He'd do well in DC. September 08, 2004
Where's Mary?
Opened Up Like Christmas
At 9:30 AM a heavy-lidded look down at the back of my hand revealed the faded blue stamp from the 9:30 Club. Twelve hours before I was shaking my groove thing at the Scissor Sisters concert. Life is really fucking good. Being with the right people can make an incredible show even better. Kyle, John, and his friend Brian definitely fit the bill.  The band kicked ass and took names. I danced and sang and loved every minute of it. I would say they are the second most fuckable band I've ever seen. The only reason that Franz Ferdinand is in first place is because they don't have any girls (and they have Scottish accents). It's a shame because Ana Matronic's really hot. Too bad I'm a Kinsey 5.5. If I were just a smidge lower, they'd be #1. I had a strange eye contact thing going on with a guy at the show. Do you ever have those moments when you see someone you've never met before and you have this slight hint of recognition but no clue from where, why, or how? He was very cute--maybe I just remembered seeing his picture somewhere. Or maybe we've met before and I should stop drinking out of aluminum cans. After the show, the totally worksafe Kyle got his picture taken with the not-so-worksafe Jake Shears thanks to John's cell phone. It's a shame John and I have jobs because apparently after we left Kyle got to hang out with the band more. I think he's going to follow them around the country. It will be like Phish. Only hot. September 07, 2004
The Best Reason to Take off the First Monday of Each Month
Taint has burned itself into my heart. I mentioned after the inaugural night that the music is like someone "started up my iTunes and hit shuffle." A song from the Avenue Q soundtrack and the Travis Morrison cover of Ludacris's "What's Your Fantasy" being two specific examples that made me want to scream to the DJ "get out of my head!" Observations and exchanges of the evening: • His milkshake brought all the boys to the yard. • I didn't get enough time to talk to him. • I don't know how I missed him. • I want dance lessons from him. cute boy: Are you and the boy in the blue tie a couple?Again, Brian, thank you for buying me the best t-shirt ever. For some reason, whenever I wear Tough Luck, I'm just a little more "on." As for the rest of the weekend, I spent it grunting, sweating, twisting and turning on my hands and knees in the bedroom and the hallway until I was filthy. Again. September 04, 2004
One of Life's Great Truths
"If all else fails, you can't go wrong with a comment about Lindsay Lohan's rack." I'll have to remember this for my next job interview. September 02, 2004
Selfish Hedonists of the World Unite!
I was so happy to see BET's amazing Jacque Reid on with that ghoul Larry King last night. Here's a bit of her interview on the floor of the RNC with Asshat Keyes. REID: Speaking of the issues that you embrace, you made a little bit of controversy speaking out about Dick Cheney's lesbian daughter calling her a selfish hedonist. Those were your words. Do you regret that?So those who have sex who can't reproduce are selfish hedonists. I guess that means...  September 01, 2004
When In Disgrace With Fortune...
I wonder if Boi From Troy has snacked on any of the Family Research Council's fortune cookies? So if "Real Men Marry Women" and being honest about the sad state of the economy makes you a "girly man," I guess the Republican National Convention has taught me that I should be embarassed because I'm a big old sissified woman. And yet, somehow, W is for me.
Is That Like Black Francis, Only Purer?
Robbie Williams is going to adopt a new persona. Pure Francis. "I think he's from Orange County, moved to West Hollywood and has not had a lot of luck." Yes, I hear that WeHo is a tough nut to crack.   Oh, and Mr. Francis, have you met Mr. Chris Gaines? |
Sister Bernadette's Barking Dog: The Quirky History and Lost Art of Diagramming Sentences - Kitty Burns Florey  Sublimation Point - Jason Schneiderman 
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